Episode Transcripts


Episode 7: The Colonel

Written by Durnford King
Directed by Dennis Berry
Aired: November 12, 1995
Transcript revised: 12-1-20


/ Episode Screencaps / Location photos /


Zzickle's Notes:

I don't own Highlander - if I did, I would've given Methos his own show! The contents of this transcript are taken directly from the episode (with the help of closed captions and the DVD script), to the best of my ability. Huge thanks to Andy Sloane and his exhaustive lists of Highlander shooting locations for assistance with my Locations List. If you have any other location-related questions, you can email him at [karateusa at hotmail dot com].

If you want to post this transcript on your site, please let me know where it is going so I can visit it. Also, please post it with my name (Zzickle) and website (http://www.zzickle.com/) on it.

You are more than welcome to use these transcripts in your fanfiction stories, no notification required.


Duncan MacLeod - Adrian Paul
              the Highlander

Joe Dawson - Jim Byrnes
              MacLeod's Watcher



Amanda - Elizabeth Gracen
              an Immortal thief

Colonel Simon Killian - Sean Allan

Melissa - Lisa Butler/Stadnykova
              young mortal thief


Cisco - Dave 'Squatch' Ward
              Killian's hired goon

General - Antony Holland
              in tribunal FB

Sgt. Merton - Sean Campbell
              in battlefield FB

Andrea Henson - Christine Upright-Letain
              Killian's Watcher


Bert - ??
              Killian's hired goon

Driver - ??
              driver of black van

Locations List:*
0. Scenes filmed at Virtue/Reckert Studios, 770 Pacific Blvd [49.274936,-123.111030] (no longer there)
1. Parking Garage - 900 W Cordova [49.287104,-123.114874]
2. Warehouse docks - Celtic Shipyards, 7520 Balaclava St, Southlands [49.217101,-123.177132]
3. LaBelle's - 757 W Hastings St [49.28555,-123.113909]
4. Dojo exterior - back door of building, at end of Cambie St [49.284721,-123.108851]
5. French battlefield - unknown location
6. Military tribunal - unknown location
7. Prison/Asylum - unknown location
8. Street near beauty salon - unknown location
9. Beauty salon - unknown location
10. Arachnatorium - Riverview Hospital, 2601 Lougheed Hwy, Coquitlan [49.24539,-122.808738]
11. Arachnatorium exterior - Chateau de Saint-Rémy, Clairefontaine-en-Yvelines, France [48.616783,1.880728]
12. Abandoned military base - 2466 E 1st Ave [49.269160,-123.055309]
* Locations are in Vancouver unless otherwise indicated.
= link to location photos
= link to episode screencaps

Eurominutes: The full version of this episode runs 48 minutes, but for the domestic (US) market, this was cut shorter for commercials. "Eurominutes" are those 4-5 minutes that European fans got to see but US fans missed out on when the episodes originally aired. (Subsequent reruns on USANetwork and SciFi/Syfy may or may not adhere to the original domestic cut.) Huge thanks to Gillian Horvath for providing the tape of the official domestic cut of this episode, as it was released by the studio for the US stations.

~Official Eurominutes are bolded.
~Reruns on USA Network* (1998) & SciFi channel (2000) match the official cut, with four exceptions.
~Rerun on Syfy (2010) matches the official cut, with two exceptions.

* Special thanks to Debra Lindsay for the USA Network tape.

NOTE: For 'Final Shooting Script' scenes that are not present in the actual episode, click on the 'CUT' links throughout the transcript. (Affected transcript lines are <bracketed>.)


Establishing shot: Joe's Bar, night 0

Joe's Bar, night 0

[In the background: Jim Byrnes - "No Special Rider"]

Joe - [slicing limes at the bar] Amanda, for thousands of years, the Watchers have lived by one single set of rules. We observe, we record, and we stay the hell out of it.

Amanda - Would you give me a break? That is such a guy-thing. [glances behind her as Melissa walks past] You have your rules and MacLeod has his.

Joe - Mac and I had a good friend -- Charlie DeSalvo. And he's dead because I broke those rules. [cuts his finger on the knife] Ah, damn it! See? I bleed. I can get an infection and die.

Amanda - You'll want to run some cold water on that.

Joe - [rinses his finger at the sink] Well, on the surface we may look alike, but underneath, we are two different species. It's right that Mac backed off. It's better this way.


Amanda - Look, Joe, we're all different -- black, white, men, women -- we all live in our own little worlds.

Joe - With me and Mac, it's different universes.

Amanda - Then why are you both so hurt?

Joe - What do you mean by that?

Amanda - I mention your name, and he immediately changes the subject. I bring him up and you've spent ten minutes telling me all the things you don't have in common.

Joe - Which is absolutely everything.


<Parking garage, night 1 CUT

[DM comes down stairs, walks to door, 1 enters parking garage, walks toward T-bird, humming. Cisco gets out of the car parked next to it.]

Cisco - Hey, pal, you wouldn't have change for the meter, would you?

[Bert comes up behind DM with a length of pipe. DM dodges Bert's attacks and fights off both men.]>


Joe's Bar, night 0

[In the background: Jim Byrnes - "No Special Rider"]

Joe - Look, I took an oath. I have to live by it.

Amanda - Oh, yeah? Well, let's -- let's just picture two gravestones, okay? One says, "He lived by the rules." The other one says, "He was a good friend." Now which one do you want?

Joe - I guess you tried to get the Beatles back together, too. CUT


<Parking garage, night 1 CUT

[DM continues to fight the two toughs.]>


Joe's Bar, night 0

Amanda - Come on, Joe, just -- just talk to him, okay, for me, please?


Parking garage, night 1

[DM continues to fight the two toughs.]


Joe's Bar, night 0

Joe - [shakes his head] I'll think about it.

Amanda - Good, because he's on his way over.


Parking garage, night 1

[DM continues to fight the two toughs.]


Joe's Bar, night 0

Joe - MacLeod... is coming here?

Amanda - Mm-hmm.

Joe - To see me?

Amanda - Well, actually, I told him that you had the night off.


<Parking garage, night 1 CUT

[DM punches Cisco as a black van pulls slowly up behind him. The driver reaches through the open window and tasers DM, then Cisco punches him, knocking him out.]>


Joe's Bar, night 0

[In the background: Jim Byrnes - "No Special Rider"]

Joe - You expect me to make the first move.

Amanda - Would you, please, for me, Joe? Please?


<Parking garage, night 1 CUT

[Cisco drags DM around to the side door of the van.]

Driver - [gets out of van] I thought you were some big shot fighter.

Cisco - I was a contender. I was seventy-six and seventeen. [throws DM into the van] Forty-seven knockouts.

Driver - If I hadn't've zapped him, he would have kicked your ass. [gives Cisco a straitjacket]

Cisco - [to Bert] See you later. [climbs into van]

[Bert closes van door. DM lies unconscious inside.]

Cisco - [tying DM into straitjacket] Okay, tough guy... sleep tight.> A

[Voice-over by Joe Dawson]
He is Duncan MacLeod... the Highlander. Born in 1592 in the Highlands of Scotland, and he is still alive. He is Immortal. For four hundred years, he's been a warrior... a lover... a wanderer. Constantly facing other Immortals in combat to the death. The winner takes his enemy's head, and with it, his power. I am a Watcher -- part of a secret society of men and women who observe and record... but never interfere. We know the truth about Immortals. In the end, there can be only one. May it be Duncan MacLeod... the Highlander.



<Warehouse docks, night 2 CUT

[The black van pulls up & stops. Cisco & Driver get out.]

Driver - Let's get him inside.

Cisco - You know, you didn't need to zap him. I could have taken him.

Driver - Yeah, sure. You could have taken him to a movie, maybe.

Cisco - [helps Driver pull DM out of van] Hey, I took him on.

Driver - You were a big help.

Cisco - And you're a pain in the ass. [helps drag DM toward the warehouse] Come on, sweet pea.

[DM suddenly springs to life, fighting back against the two men. He is limited by the straitjacket, and the Driver knocks him out again with the length of pipe.]

Cisco - I'm getting tired of dragging this guy around. [They drag DM into the warehouse.]>


Joe's Bar, night 0


<Joe - Would you look at that? I didn't think he'd be her type.

Amanda - [watching Melissa with an older guy at a table] He's not.

Older guy - Let's spend some time together. We could have a magical evening. [Melissa giggles, flirts.] You like me, don't you?

[Amanda watches with a knowing eye as Melissa makes her move.]

Older guy - Come here. [pulls Melissa to him & kisses her. She 'accidentally' spills his drink.]

Melissa - Ohh. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. [He stands up.] I'm such a klutz. I'm just going to go to the ladies room. Don't go away. I'm -- I'm really sorry.

[Melissa walks past Amanda at the bar. Amanda's hand brushes against the jacket Melissa is carrying as Melissa walks past her.]>

Amanda - Not bad for an amateur.

Melissa - [stops, turns around] What are you talking about?

Amanda - [motions her closer, whispers] I think the glass in the lap was overkill. Way way over the top.

Melissa - Are you a cop?

Amanda - Not in this life. My name's Amanda. Why don't you sit and have a drink with me? My date's late.

Melissa - Moving on. [turns to leave]

Amanda - Oh, yeah? Without these? [holds up keys] I've had centuries of practice. Now why didn't you take his wallet?

Melissa - It's not about cash.

Amanda - Is that so?

Melissa - I'm not a thief.

Amanda - Really? Why don't you sit and talk to me, tell me all about it? CUT <[Melissa sighs, sits down beside Amanda at the bar.] Lou, could we have, uh, two drinks? Something fruity?>


<Warehouse 2 CUT

Cisco - Who the hell is that guy? [Driver shrugs.] Geez. [looks at his watch] Oh, man, he's late.

Driver - The Colonel's never late. [Cisco & Driver both look at their watches.] We're thirteen minutes early. 2

[In another room, DM starts to regain consciousness as the two men continue talking in the other room.]

Cisco - [offscreen] What's the colonel want him for anyhow?

Driver - [offscreen] You're not being paid to ask questions.

Cisco - [offscreen] You're a real friendly guy, you know that?

[DM wakes up, looks around.]>


Joe's Bar, night 0

Melissa - Basically, I go to work, I do a perm, I go to a club, I go to sleep. It's the same thing every day. The only thing that changes are the blue-haired old ladies that sit in my chair.

Amanda - So you steal because you're bored?

Melissa - Oh, no, I do it for the rush. I mean, I just want to take the guy's Beemer for a little joyride, you know. I'll give it back.

Amanda - Do you want some company?

Melissa - You want to come with me? Bitchin'! But what about your date?

Joe - [as Amanda checks her watch] Looks like you got stood up.

Amanda - Yeah, well, you know, he's teaching at this university. He's probably arguing with some coed about a grade.

Joe - Yeah. Right.

Amanda - Sorry, Joe.

Joe - Hey, not a problem.

Amanda - [to Melissa] You ready?

Melissa - Yeah. We're out of here.

Amanda - [to Joe] Okay, I'll see you later. [kisses him on the cheek]

Joe - Bye.

Amanda - Bye.

Melissa - Bye.


Warehouse 2

(resume previous scene)

<[DM goes to door, listens to conversation from other room.]

Cisco - [offscreen] You follow the fights?

Driver - [offscreen] Yeah. 3 What of it?> CUT

Cisco - [offscreen] Who do you like on Friday?

[Cisco & Driver are looking at a magazine: "10 COUNT".]

Driver - I got Fenton in three.

Cisco - Fenton's a bum.

Driver - Ah, he took you out.

Cisco - He got lucky.

Driver - He got lucky he didn't kill you.

[DM is still listening at the door.]

<Cisco - [offscreen] You should have seen me in my prime.

Driver - [offscreen] I did. As I remember, the match took only twenty minutes.

Cisco - [offscreen] If I'd have been five years younger, I'd have murdered Fenton.

Driver - [offscreen] Give it up, will you, peabrain?> CUT

[DM struggle with the straitjacket but can't get free. He looks around, tries to work strap over his shoulder, looks around again.]


Outside LaBelle's, night 3

Melissa - [gets out of parked convertible] What a set of wheels. Wow. I can't believe it. Whoa!

Amanda - [leads Melissa up sidewalk] This is it. 4

Melissa - Oh, man. [Giggling, they walk together to the store entrance.] You're mental, girl. This is LaBelle's.

Amanda - Is your heart pounding yet?

Melissa - Are you kidding me? It's in my throat. Why don't we break into Penney's or something?

Amanda - Because Penney's doesn't have lasers or shatterproof glass, or computerized locks, and what's the fun in that?

Melissa - You've done this before.

Amanda - Oh, a couple of times in my youth. [holds electronic gizmo up to keypad by door]

Melissa - What is that thing?

Amanda - This is a digital analyzer.

Melissa - You carry it in your purse?

Amanda - Doesn't everybody? [The keypad beeps and the light turns green.] Damn, I'm good.

Melissa - I think we just moved from bitchin' to, like, grand theft. I can't believe I'm here.

Amanda - What, you're going to stop? [opens the door]

Melissa - No. [They high-five.]

Amanda - You ready?

<[Melissa nods. CUT Amanda takes her hands and they side-step across the threshold into the building until they set off the alarm. They squeal and giggle.]>

Melissa - What did you make me do that for?

Amanda - [looks at her watch] We have about forty-five seconds before the police get here. Come on. [runs back to the car with Melissa]

Melissa - You are so weird.

Amanda - Oh, honey, you don't even know.

Melissa - Oh, did we actually do that?


Warehouse 2

(resume previous scene)

<[DM continues to struggle in the straitjacket.]

Cisco & Driver - [offscreen] {??}

Cisco - [offscreen] What do you mean by that?> CUT [still talking to the Driver about the fight] You got tickets?

Driver - Almost ringside. How about you guys?

Cisco - Yeah, right. Ringside at Gleason's Bar. You think this bum would have comped me a couple of tickets. CUT <[offscreen] You ever do any boxing?

Driver - [offscreen] Not in the ring.

[DM is still having no luck getting out of the straitjacket.] 5>


Street, night 3

Melissa - Oh, did we actually do that?

Amanda - I think so.

[Melissa shuts off the car engine and both recline their seats.]

Melissa - This is unbelievable. I mean, one minute I'm sitting in a bar, and the next I'm breaking into LaBelle's. This is outrageous. I mean, I do some crazy things sometimes, but this is just...

Amanda - Fun.

Melissa - Yeah.

Amanda - Yeah.

Melissa - I bet you do this kind of stuff all the time.

Amanda - Uh... I used to.

Melissa - Not anymore?

Amanda - I gave it up.

Melissa - Why? Oh, no, wait. Don't tell me. It's for a guy, right? The one who stood you up tonight? Man's a fool, if you ask me.

Amanda - He had a good reason.

Melissa - Says him.

[They look at each other, then start laughing.]

Amanda - Let's go.


<Warehouse 2 CUT

(resume previous scene)

[Kneeling on the floor, DM wrenches his shoulder out of socket. Biting his lip against the pain, he pulls the arm out of position to untwist the straps of the straitjacket. Then he rams his shoulder against a metal post to re-set the joint.]



Cisco - Hey, I think he's here, man.



[DM starts working on the buckles of the straitjacket.] 6>


Outside warehouse, night 2

[Cisco & the Driver exit warehouse as a car pulls up.]

Driver - Right on time.

[Killian gets out, senses 'buzz'. Inside warehouse, DM also senses 'buzz', then pulls off the straitjacket.]

Killian - Any problems?

Cisco - Nah. I took him down in two.

Killian - Place him in the car.

<[Cisco & the Driver walk back into the warehouse.] CUT

Driver - You didn't take him in two.

Cisco - Shut up.

Driver - You couldn't take my mother in two.>

[DM punches Cisco as he enters the warehouse, then punches the Driver. A woman takes photos from nearby as DM fights the two men. He gets away from them & Killian's driver shoots an Uzi at him. He rolls under the van to escape the spray of bullets but the van explodes. His clothes on fire, he staggers away from the van and jumps in the water. The woman taking the photos has a Watcher tattoo on her wrist.]

Killian - [looks down into the dark water where DM has disappeared] He's gone. [to the men] Come. 7


Establishing shot: Dojo, night 4

Dojo, night 0

[Amanda & Melissa enter. Amanda turns on the lights. Melissa looks around.] 8

Melissa - [follows Amanda across dojo toward elevator] I was watching you when we were breaking into LaBelle's. Your hands didn't shake. You didn't sweat. You just had this look on your face that said no matter how hard they tried to keep you out, you knew they couldn't. Am I right?

Amanda - Close.

Melissa - So what did you do before you were a...

Amanda - A thief?

Melissa - Yeah.

Amanda - Mostly I was hungry. [senses 'buzz'] Duncan's here.

Melissa - How can you tell?

Amanda - [at sound of dojo door opening] The door.

Melissa - Oh. Yeah.

Amanda - [walks toward entrance as DM enters] Hey. I want you to meet my new friend Melissa.

[DM sees Melissa, tries to hide the fact that his sweater has holes burned into it.]

Amanda - Melissa, this is, uh, Duncan MacLeod. His friends call him Mac.

DM - Hi, there.

Melissa - Hi, Mac. [to Amanda, quietly] He's awesome.

Amanda - [to DM] You look terrible.

DM - She said I looked awesome.

Amanda - [concerned] She lied.

Melissa - [after an awkward pause] Uh, I think I'd better go.

Amanda - Yeah, okay. Well, I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Melissa - Okay. Bye.

Amanda - See you then.

Melissa - It was nice meeting you, Mac.

[As Melissa walks toward the exit, DM turns to keep his back hidden from sight. The back of his sweater has huge holes in it.]

DM - Yeah, and you, Melissa.

Amanda - Bye. [gives DM a look as they walk toward the elevator] Well, you can tell me all about it in a hot bath, okay? Maybe I'll even join you.

DM - I'm sorry about Joe's. [closes elevator gate, starts elevator] I had a little business to take care of.

Amanda - That's all right. We'll do it another time. 9 So, what, did the other guy have a bigger sword or something?

DM - Don't worry about it. It's just an old war wound acting up.

Amanda - What's his name?

DM - Killian.

Amanda - Will he keep coming?

DM - He'll keep coming. He's got good reason.


Flashback - France, 1918 - battlefield trenches 5

[Super: France 1918]


<[Camera pans across trenches. Soldiers call to each other, gunfire sounds in the background. In the distance, two men can be seen carrying a stretcher. Close B on DM escorting the two medics carrying a wounded soldier on the stretcher. 10 DM runs the last few steps & jumps down into a trench as the medics continue on past. He makes his way down the trench and around a corner, ducking under a wooden bridge spanning over the trench. C DM stands back up on other side of bridge, senses a 'buzz'. He salutes the officer in front of him.]>

Killian - Good afternoon. Colonel Simon Killian, commanding.

DM - Duncan MacLeod, transporting the wounded. [moves past Killian to examine two wounded soldiers]

Killian - Ambulance driver?

DM - That's correct. [gives wounded soldier a drink from his canteen]

Killian - I would think that a man of your... experience could do better.

DM - [tying tourniquet around soldier's leg] I chose this duty.

Killian - Why? When you could lead men into battle instead? Share their glory. Hear their shouts of victory.

DM - And the screams of the maimed and dying. I fought here against Napoleon and Louis the Fourteenth. I've seen men die for the same ground too many times to want to do it again. [moves to second wounded soldier, examines his wounds]

Sgt. Merton - [jumps down into trench behind Killian, salutes] The artillery's in place, Colonel.

Killian - Excellent, Sergeant, thank you. [to DM] The Hun think that they own this ground, but we own it. [Sgt. Merton holds out piece of paper to him, but he ignores it.] We paid for it with the blood of a thousand men.

<DM - [pours the last of his water onto a cloth] Excuse me, sir. Could I borrow your canteen? [grabs Killian's canteen from him without waiting for a response] Thank you.> CUT

Sgt. Merton - [holds out piece of paper again] Urgent, sir.

Killian - [still ignoring him] Now that I have the reinforcements, I will drive them all the way back to Berlin.

Sgt. Merton - [tries again] Urgent, sir, from headquarters.

Killian - [takes the message from him] Thank you. That'll be all. [Sgt. Merton leaves. Killian reads the message:




Killian - On your whistle, Sergeant. Tell the men.

Sgt. Merton - Yes, sir.

Killian - Today we take our revenge.

DM - [as Sgt. Merton prepares to blow his whistle] Sergeant, wait! [takes the message from Killian, reads it] You can't do this.

Killian - We have left too many dead here to leave with nothing.

DM - But the war is over! No one else has to die!

Killian - They die if I tell them to die. [to Sgt. Merton] Put him in irons.

DM - [to Sgt. Merton] It's true. See for yourself. [hands him the message]

Sgt. Merton - [reads message] My God, it is over. We won.

Killian - [snatches message away] I did not receive this. Do you understand? This never arrived. [crumples message into a ball, throws it to the ground]

DM - You can't do this, Killian! The war is over!

Killian - The war is over when we take that ground. Sound the attack, Sergeant. That is an order.

Sgt. Merton - I'm sorry, sir, but there won't be any attack. [removes the whistle from around his neck] I'll tell the men the news. [starts away down the trench]

Killian - [pulls his sidearm] Seargent! [shoots Sgt. Merton when he turns]

DM - No! [wrestles Killian for the gun. Killian knocks him down.]

Killian - [grabs Sgt. Merton's whistle] On your feet, men! [The men get to their feet.]

[Jack Judge - "It's a Long Way to Tipperary"

As the streets are paved with gold
Sure, everyone was gay,]

Killian - Ready, men! On my whistle!

[Singing songs of Piccadilly,
Strand and Leicester Square,]

DM - [tries to pull the soldiers back down into the trench] Listen, listen! Listen to me! The war's over!

[Till Paddy got excited,
Then he shouted to them there:]

[Killian climbs out of the trench, blows the whistle.]

[It's a long way to Tipperary,
It's a long way to go.]

[Killian and the soldiers run forward, shooting at the enemy.]

[It's a long way to Tipperary,
To the sweetest girl I know!]

[DM tries to stop the soldiers from following Killian, but fails.]

[Goodbye, Piccadilly,
Farewell, Leicester Square!]

[DM reaches Killian. Killian turns & shoots him, killing him.]

[It's a long long way to Tipperary,
But my heart's right there.
It's a long way to Tipperary...]


Flashback - London, 1918 - military tribunal 6

[Super: London 1918]

General - Colonel Killian, after careful consideration of the evidence, this court finds you guilty on all charges. Your heinous act resulted in the unnecessary deaths of three hundred British and German soldiers. You are hereby stripped of all rank and privileges and sentenced to death by firing squad. And God only will have mercy on your soul.

Killian - You think you judge me? You think you can dispose of me that easily? Men and their governments come and go, playing at peace, while soldiers like me fight on. Read your history books. Peace is nothing but a pause between the wars. Do you not think we will fight Germany again!?

General - Guards, restrain him.

Killian - Shoot me, if you will. I am Colonel Simon Killian! [continues ranting as two guards restrain him] I was Colonel Simon Killian before you were born. I will be Colonel Simon Killian long after you and yours are dead! I will dance on your graves! You insignificant bastards! [General looks at Killian sharply. Killian shuts up and D looks over at DM.]

DM - General, may I speak? [Killian falls silent.]

General - Your testimony is on record. What more can you add?

DM - <I fear a grave injustice will be done if I do not speak.> CUT Please, I beg the court's indulgence. [The General nods.] I am a simple man. But I was there when he ordered those men into battle, and I can attest he was not in right mind. He is as he was then -- a victim of his own delusions. I beg you, show mercy. Spare his life. [gives Killian a look]

Killian - You bastard. I know what you're doing! [to the tribunal] I demand to be shot! Do you hear me? It is my right! I demand it! Do you hear me?


<Flashback - London, 1918 - prison for the criminally insane 7 CUT

[Inmate shuffles slowly down hallway. Two guards escort Killian into hallway, close barred door behind them, lead Killian down hallway toward camera.]

Guards (2) - Come on. Right. 11 [lead Killian down hallway to a closed door] It's this one. Here's your new home. [One of the guards opens door.] Get in there. Go on. [pushes Killian inside] There you go. [closes & locks door]>

DM - [voice-over] He was sentenced to life in a prison for the criminally insane.


Loft above dojo, night 0

Amanda - [lying in bed beside DM] Why didn't you just let them shoot him?

DM - He had to pay the price for the men he'd killed. CUT Amanda, his crime was committed in the mortal world. It was only right that he was sentenced by mortal justice.

Amanda - Sometimes I worry about your overindulged sense of morality.

DM - Do you now?

Amanda - Yeah. But I wouldn't worry. I'll protect you from it.


Street 8

Amanda - Ah, it's just lunch. Besides, once you get to know her, I think you're really going to like her.

DM - Amanda, you only met her last night.

Amanda - What can I say? There's something about a woman with her hand on a man's wallet that just turns me on. Besides, what's the worst thing that can happen?

DM - She could get arrested. She could go to prison.

Amanda - No, no, no, no. I'm a pro.

DM - She's not.

Amanda - Would you not worry? I promise we'll be good.

<DM - Yeah. I'm sure you will be, dressed like that.

Amanda - What's wrong with the way I'm dressed?

DM - Oh, nothing.

Amanda - You know, I think I'm taller than you are. [tries to be taller than DM]

DM - Yeah, very funny.

Amanda - Oh, oh, oh, oh.> CUT Here's the place.


Beauty salon 9

Amanda - [leads DM inside, looks around] That's funny. She said she'd be here. [to receptionist] Excuse me, is Melissa working today?

[Receptionist nods, points. Amanda walks in the direction she pointed, looks around, doesn't see Melissa.]

Melissa - [sitting in salon chair, swivels around to face Amanda. Her long blonde hair is now short & black, similar to Amanda's.] Amanda, is this completely perfect, or what?

Amanda - Melissa. [stunned, looks at Melissa, glances at DM] Well-- [laughs] It -- It suits you.

Melissa - You think?

Amanda - Yeah.

Melissa - Maybe colored contacts...

DM - [quickly] No, you look just fine like that.

Melissa - [re Amanda's jacket] Oh, fine lines, girlfriend.

Amanda - Oh, you like it?

Melissa - Yeah.

Amanda - Well, here. [takes jacket off]

Melissa - Oh, for me?

Amanda - Yeah, why not?

Melissa - Oh, I couldn't.

Amanda - All right, I'll keep it.

Melissa - Oh, on second thought.

Amanda - [helps Melissa into the jacket] It looks very nice.

Melissa - Thank you. You're the best. [hugs Amanda]

Amanda - Oh, that's sweet. [DM rolls his eyes.] Oh, so sweet.

Melissa - [looks at their reflections in the mirror] Just like sisters.

Amanda - [to DM] What do you think?

DM - [with a tight smile] I think one of you is enough.


Killian's arachnitorium, night 10

[Killian is sitting among aquariums full of tarantulas, with a tarantula walking around on his arm.]

Cisco - [enters nervously, carrying a manila envelope] Colonel?

Killian - Consider the lone arachnid, Sergeant.

Cisco - S-Sir?

Killian - [holds tarantula on the palm of his hand] For years, they were my only companions. Bees have a complex social structure. Ants are arranged by class into an efficient army of workers. But I prefer spiders -- each so unique, solitary, spinning their fragile webs alone. This one is a tarantula, a harmless pet. That one [points offscreen] -- Loxosceles reclusa -- is as deadly as a bullet under the right circumstances. Rather like people, some are poisonous, some are harmless. CUT What do you have for me?

Cisco - Oh, yeah. [pulls photo out of envelope, hands it to Killian]

Killian - [looks at black-and-white photo of DM and Amanda on street. Amanda's back is to the camera.] The perfect bait. [looks up toward brown recluse's web] <Does he know it for a work of art, I wonder? Or does he know it only for the satisfaction of seeing his prey entangled in the merciless strands?> CUT

Woman - [offscreen] Let go of me. 12

Cisco - [offscreen] Here she comes.

Killian - Ah.

Woman - [offscreen] What did I do? [led into arachnitorium by Bert]

Killian - Remove her blindfold. [Bert removes blindfold. The woman is Melissa, not Amanda.] Very pretty. But not as pretty as this. [holds tarantula up]


Establishing shot: Arachnitorium, night 11

Killian's arachnitorium, night 10

[short while later]


Melissa - [tied up in a chair] What do you want from me?

Killian - I want nothing from you. I want MacLeod. He'll be coming to save you.

Melissa - Why would he save me?

Killian - Because he loves you.

Melissa - Loves me? I just met him yesterday.

Killian - [chuckles] You lie rather well for someone so ordinary.

Melissa - I swear it's the truth.

Killian - [chuckles again, shows her the surveillance photo] Tell me this isn't you.

Melissa - I-It's not. CUT That's Amanda, his girlfriend.

Killian - You're lying.

<Melissa - CUT I swear I'm not.> [Killian places tarantula on her shoulder.] Oh, God. Get it off me. Get it off me! Get it off!

Killian - The truth!

Melissa - I told you the truth! I'm a nobody.

Killian - [takes tarantula off her] You know, I think you are.


Loft above dojo, night 0

Amanda - [calls out from bathroom] Duncan?

DM - [reading a book, distracted] Mm?

Amanda - [pokes her head around doorframe] MacLeod?

DM - [still reading] What?

Amanda - Melissa's going to be here in a minute. Would you entertain her while I get ready, please?

DM - What are you going to teach your little protégé tonight -- how to knock off an armored truck?

Amanda - No, you know, I thought we'd go down to, uh, Kentucky and try Fort Knox. Would you give me a break? We're just going to a club. She knows the band.

DM - I'm sure she does. Are you enjoying this?

Amanda - What? A girl's got to have friends of her own.

DM - Same hair, same clothes? Don't you find it a little odd being cloned?

Amanda - Well, you know, I can't help it that the girl has excellent taste. [sits in his lap] As long as she doesn't have my man. [kisses him]

DM - One of you is all I could handle.

Amanda - Mmm. [continues kissing him for a moment] Well, I've got to get ready. So you'll have to handle me later.

DM - I can't wait. [Both sense 'buzz'.] He's downstairs. Stay here.

Amanda - [sarcastic] Right.


<Empty dojo, night 0 CUT

[DM exits elevator to find Melissa lying on the floor in the middle of the dojo with several tarantulas crawling over her. Killian is watching from just outside the dojo doors.]

DM - It's okay, Melissa. It's all right. Don't move. Stay still. It's okay. [nudges the tarantulas away from her] It's all right, sweetheart. Don't worry. It's all right. [pulls her into his lap] Easy.

Melissa - It hurts. Help me. [DM watches helplessly as Killian leaves.] Please don't leave me here.

Amanda - [comes in through side entrance] God, Melissa.

DM - I won't leave you. [to Amanda] Take care of her. Call an ambulance. [transfers Melissa to Amanda's lap]

Amanda - Oh, my God. What did he do to her? Oh, honey, hold on. It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay.

[DM leaves to chase after Killian.]

Melissa - I'm so cold, Amanda.

Amanda - It's okay. Hold me. It's going to be okay.

Melissa - He thought I was you. [Amanda looks down at her.] I must look pretty good, huh? I just wanted to have some fun. 13>


Killian's arachnitorium, night 10

[DM pulls up in T-bird outside. Killian senses 'buzz', then DM enters.]

Killian - Welcome to my parlor.

<DM - CUT Very homey. If you wanted me here, you should have just told me, instead of using the girl.>

Killian - Think of her as an invitation.

DM - Hmm. [Cisco and Bert enter.] This is between you and me, Killian. Isn't that what you dreamed of all these years?

Killian - My dreams would terrify you. [to his men] Kill him.

[DM throws his katana at Bert, impaling him against the wall. DM reclaims the katana quickly.]

Cisco - Jesus!

Killian - Kill him!

[As DM turns toward Killian, Cisco mows him down with an automatic.]


Abandoned Air Force base - underground fallout shelter, night 12

[DM revives inside a barred jail cell in a corner of the empty shelter. A toilet and sink are installed against one wall, and a large number of army green cardboard boxes are stacked against the other wall. DM opens one of the boxes, which are labeled: U.S. ARMY RATION PACKS SERIAL NO. 3470A. The box is full of metal food cans.]

DM - [looks at cans in disgust] Liver? [senses 'buzz', hears lock ratcheting in fallout shelter door]

Killian - [enters with DM's katana, holds it up] Lovely piece of work. [steps forward] How do you feel, MacLeod. Naked? Helpless? Just as I felt when they took my rank and my sword? [drives the katana point into the concrete wall, leaves it there]

DM - You deserved it.

Killian - Did I? You know, you were right. I have dreamed of this day. Seventy years. Seventy years they locked me away. So long that no one remembered where I came from or who I was. And all I thought about was you.

DM - Really?

Killian - And how to return the favor.

DM - Oh, I'm flattered.

Killian - <Get used to your new home, MacLeod. No one's used this brig in forty years.> CUT And the only one who knows you're down here thinks you're dead.

DM - So what's my sentence, Colonel, sir? [salutes him mockingly]

Killian - Fair is fair. I did seventy years; you'll do seventy years. Unless, of course, someone takes my head. Then you'll be here forever.

DM - Maybe I should take up a hobby.

Killian - There's enough food and water here for the first fifty years. Long enough for everything you love to die. And so you don't think too badly of me... [gestures to single bare bulb hanging in center of cell] the light bulb is an extended life. It should burn for at least two years. I've heard that the madness comes more slowly in the light -- and I want you to experience every precious moment as you wait for the darkness to come.

DM - I guess you didn't leave me anything to read.

Killian - Just the walls and the ceiling, MacLeod. CUT [leaves]


Joe's Bar, morning 0

Joe - Amanda... Two Immortals go off together, one doesn't come back -- we both know what happened. [sighs] I'm sorry.

Amanda - Look, Joe, I would know if he was dead. I would -- I would feel it.

Joe - Amanda, he's gone.

Amanda - No, he's alive. And if he's not alive, then I want to know where to find Killian.

Joe - All right, I'll see what I can find out.


Underground fallout shelter 12

DM - [singing] If I came down this street / Even when I want to-- [stops singing, E looks at the metal can opener he is holding, tests the can opener on an outcropping of concrete in the cell, breaking off a small piece of the concrete] Great. [He carries the can opener over to the barred cell door and starts scratching at the concrete there.] A million green bottles sitting on the wall... [stops scratching a moment] Oh, I hate that sound. [starts again] A million green bottles hanging on the wall, and if one green bottle should suddenly fall... then nine hundred ninety-nine thousand nine hundred and-- [sighs] --ninety-nine bottles hanging on the wall.


Joe's Bar 0

<Henson - [enters bar] Joe Dawson? CUT Andrea Henson. I watch Simon Killian.>

Joe - Thanks for coming down. Can I get you a coffee?

Henson - Sure. [as Joe gets her coffee] Is there a problem?

Joe - No. No problem. I'm sure you're doing just fine.

Henson - [picks up coffee cup] I'm still filing with London. We figure Killian'll go back there.

Joe - Yeah. You're probably right. Do you think, uh, Killian came to town just for MacLeod?

Henson - It stands to reason. They've got a history.

Joe - [nods] You know they met last night. [Henson nods.] I'm, uh, writing my close-up on MacLeod. CUT

Henson - He's not dead. <They shot him, but Killian didn't take his head. CUT He's locked him in one of those old cells at the abandoned Air Force base.> You didn't know?

Joe - No. I-- I didn't know.

Henson - Listen, this is your territory, and I'm the new kid on the block, but I know people in the Paris office... and a gal hears stuff. Rumors.

Joe - What, uh, what kind of rumors?

Henson - You and MacLeod. That you're more than just his Watcher. 14 You're not going to get involved... are you, Joe?


Underground fallout shelter 12


<[DM is rearranging the boxes in his cell when he senses a 'buzz'. As the lock on the shelter door starts clicking, DM reaches up and unscrews the hanging light bulb, then hides behind a stack of the rearranged boxes.]>

Amanda - [enters wearing a stethoscope] My first safe in years.

DM - Amanda?

Amanda - Duncan.

DM - What are you doing here?

Amanda - Did you miss me?

DM - More than you'll ever know. [as Amanda starts working on the cell door] How's Melissa?

<Amanda - CUT She's in the hospital. I-I don't know if she's going to make it.

DM - I'm sorry. How did you find me?>

Amanda - I had a little help from a friend. [gets cell door open as Joe enters the room]

Joe - Hello, Mac.

DM - [shares a look with Joe] I thought we agreed to stay out of each other's way.

Joe - We can always throw you back if you want. CUT

<DM - I've got to take a trip to Gleason's Bar.>


Killian's arachnitorium, night 10

Killian - You're drunk.

Cisco - CUT It was him, I tell you. At Gleason's Bar! He was no more than thirty feet away from me.

Killian - That's impossible.

Cisco - No, what's impossible is he's alive. I put seven slugs in that guy.

Killian - Did you check the cell? CUT

<Cisco - No.>


Underground fallout shelter 12

[Killian walks down tunnel, senses 'buzz', enters shelter. He sees that DM's katana is gone, walks cautiously to jail cell and pushes on bars of door, which swings open. As he backs away, DM throws the metal can opener to the floor near his feet, then comes down nearby stairs where he was hiding.]

Killian - How did you--

DM - I used to be in the Boy Scouts. I've got a merit badge just for this. [attacks] CUT

<[They fight their way out of the shelter, down the hallway, then into a walk space underneath. Eventually DM disarms Killian, beheads him, takes his Quickening. DM salutes when Quickening ends, winces as he gets to his feet. 15]>


Loft above dojo 0

Amanda - [packing F her trunk] Ah, this damn stuff used to fit before.

DM - Amanda, it wasn't your fault.

<Amanda - Oh, yeah? Well, then whose fault was it, huh? CUT She was trying to be like me, she almost died, and I-I just let her do this.>

DM - It was Killian's fault, not yours.

Amanda - I know, but I -- It doesn't feel that way. I don't know what to tell you. <Look... I love you and you're my best friend.> CUT But I just have to go away. Um, I've got to get it together.

DM - The door's always open.

Amanda - I know. God, I just -- I forgot how fragile they are.

DM - Yeah.

Amanda - Okay, so I'm going to, um, call you when I get there, and you can send my stuff to me.

DM - Or anything you need. Anything I can do. I'll always be there for you, all right? [They kiss, hug.]

Amanda - You want to do something for me? Go and see Joe. Duncan, life is too short... for him. [DM sighs. CUT <Amanda leans back slightly.] Hmm? Think about it.

DM - Maybe.

Amanda - All right. [kises him again] I'm going to miss you. [They hug again.]>


Joe's Bar 0

[Lou (bartender) tidies bar as Joe looks over some papers. 16 Camera pans around post to Joe. DM enters bar, walks toward Joe.]

Joe - [to Lou] You wanna, uh, take five, Lou? [Lou leaves.]

DM - You broke the rules.

Joe - Yeah, well... it's not the first time. I figured it was a good cause. [chuckles] It's hard to say no to Amanda.

DM - Yeah, I know. She left this morning.

Joe - Well, you'll see her again.

DM - Always do.

Joe - You want to talk about it?

DM - Nah. [He places two shot glasses on the bar, sets a bottle between them -- an invitation. Joe fills the glasses.]


End of "The Colonel"

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