Highlander
Transcripts:
DVD Extras

Joe Dawson - [voice-over] He is Immortal, born in the highlands of Scotland four hundred years ago. He is not alone.

[sound effect: pouring water (suggesting urination)]

[pan down to DM & Joe facing away from camera]

Joe Dawson - [voice-over] There are others like him -- some good...

Joe Dawson - [voice-over] ...some evil. [sound effect: zippers zipping] For centuries, he has battled...

Joe Dawson - [voice-over] ...the forces of darkness, with holy ground his only refuge.

[Roddy Piper drops his sword.]

Joe Dawson - [voice-over] He cannot die...

Joe Dawson - [voice-over] ...unless you take his head, and with it his power.

[Don S. Davis's gun accidentally hits Adrian Paul in the head.]

Don S. Davis - Oh, God! Hey, are you okay?

Joe Dawson - [voice-over] In the end...

[Adrian Paul and Liz Gracen eating bananas]

Joe Dawson - [voice-over] ...there can be only one. He is Duncan MacLeod...

Joe Dawson - [voice-over] ...the Highlander.

[Highlander theme song by Queen]

Jim Byrnes - [bangs on glass with cane. Glass refuses to break.] Shit. It does take a beating, doesn't it?

Adrian Paul - [makeup & hair artists working on him] I love this. Don't you? Ah. Oh, I love it. Uh--

Director - [offscreen] And wait for it, please.

Adrian Paul - We're waiting for it at the moment, you know, it's so nice.

Director - [offscreen] {??} Ready? And--

Amanda - [counting in a whisper] One. Two. Three. [They lift the glass case but knock the bottom against the cross inside.]

Adrian Paul - That would've killed it.

Amanda & DM - [counting in a whisper together] One. Two. Three. [DM slides the cross off the display as Amanda slides a stack of weights into place. The stack falls over.]

Adrian Paul - Oh, good. Oh, good.

Liz Gracen - Sorry.

Adrian Paul - You're really-- Now we've got the alarm going off, you moron.

Director - [offscreen] Cut.

Amanda - [finishes packing rope into bag, whispering] Okay. {Let's go.}

[DM hands Amanda the flashlight. She drops it down the stairs.]

Adrian Paul - Clang, clang, clang, clang, clang.

Director - [offscreen] Cut.

Adrian Paul - [enters on gurney, singing] There's no business like show business--

Adrian Paul - Wait! {forgets his line, makes mumbly noises]

Director - [offscreen] Still rolling?

Liliana Komorowska - Chinese?

Director - [offscreen] Still rolling, here we go.

[DM gets into car with Nefertiri, accidentally turns windshield wipers on.]

[No intelligible dialogue.]

Director - [offscreen] Action.

[DM throws elevator gate upwards. The gate rebounds and falls back down on Charlie as he exits the elevator.]

Adrian Paul - Careful, Charlie. Mind the freakin' elevator, man. Midori, you here?

["Groove is in the Heart" by Deee-Lite]

[Adrian Paul dances into frame with large boom mic, singing 'Strangers in the Night'.]

Director - [offscreen] Cut. Alright, we'll go again, guys.

DM - So what exactly do you want me to do about it?

Joe - [offscreen] He has to be stopped.

Adrian Paul - So why don't you-- [blows raspberry] I just love these things, don't you? I just love the way they-- Hi, Mom. [leaves camera frame]

Andrea Roth - Nicely done, Mister, uh, touché, fuck me, okay.

DM - Everyone else knocks, Sully, and I wasn't expecting you.

Sully - [offscreen] Well, if it wasn't an emergency...

Adrian Paul - Well, since when is a bare-fuckle ni-- [cracks up] bare-knuckle fight--

Director - [offscreen] Cut it.

Adrian Paul - Bare-fuckle night!

Charlie - No, this kind of stuff's been going on in the Zone for years, and I've just been shaking my head.

DM - You made it out.

Philip Akin - Well, it's time to maybke it [flubs line]

Adrian Paul - It's beautiful like that!

Director - [offscreen] Okay, cut.

Werner - Luven. The crossing at Luven. Twelve o'clock.

DM - [nods] Okay.

Werner - By the way, I've forgotten your name.

Adrian Paul - It's Bond. James Bond.

["Don't Lose Your Head" by Queen]

Director - [offscreen] Ready. Action! Action.

Nurse - [in hallway] Excuse me. May I help you?

DM - Oh, I hope so. Uh, I've come to see Dr. Moore. I have this problem. [Moves coat to reveal stuffed tube sock sticking out of his pants.]

Nurse - Yes, I see that. [DM hands her a business card.] Thank you, Mr. MacLeod. He's in the west wi--

Director - [offscreen] Cut. Alright, we'll go again.

Lisa - I'm late.

DM - Uh, well, maybe we could have dinner sometime.

Lisa - I don't think so.

Adrian Paul - Well, how about a blowjob?

DM - Where is she?

Charlie - You think they got her?

Adrian Paul - Well, there's no signs of a struggle-- [trips, falls down]

Kenny - Yeah. Four years ago. I was ten. My mom and dad took me...

DM - You have no idea where?

Myles Ferguson - My mom and dad took me to a gay bar.

[Anne gasps, covers her mouth with her hand.]

Director - [offscreen] That's great. That's perfect.

Director - [offscreen] Action.

[Mako attacks RR, kicks a bag of packing peanuts, gets his foot stuck in the bag.]

Director - [offscreen] Cut. Cut. Let's go back.

[Adrian Paul tries to jump on Indian horse bareback and ride away. Fails repeatedly.]

[Jim Byrnes is still trying to break the glass with his cane.]

Adrian Paul - [giggles] Baddup-baddup, that's all, folks. [is beheaded by 'Shadows' cowled figure]